you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
