at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
