how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
