just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
