That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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