He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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