You're completely useless in the revolution.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
