So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
