You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
