sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
