so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize