You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
