In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
