I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
