when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize