The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
