a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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