All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
