And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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