her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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