ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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