oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
