So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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