last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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