I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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