I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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