I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made out with two different species that night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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