dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
