So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
