Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
