I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
