you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
