I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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