So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
