Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
