Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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