I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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