i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
