Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
