She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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