He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
