Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
