i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize