I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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