so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
