It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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