There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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