No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
