Is it normal to miss your booty call?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
