omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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