ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize