this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
