Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
