just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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