i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
