Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
