the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
