idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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