North Korea, Best Korea!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
