I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
