We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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