So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
