I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
