woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
