I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize