There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
