Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize