my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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