so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
