Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
