party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
