my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
