she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
