The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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