This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
