I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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