The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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