i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize