I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
