my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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