john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize