All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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