i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
