You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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