If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
