Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we're making bets on your personal life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
