Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it because I queefed?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
