I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
